Monday, October 15, 2012

The Day Before

On Tuesday, William went to work, and I stayed home with the girls. Emily sounded terrible, with lots of sneezing and a scratchy voice. I decided to keep her home from preschool, even though I suspected that she was suffering from allergies.  Molly also refused to take her naps, so it could've been a very long, frustrating day.

But I quickly realized that this was a tender mercy from the Lord, to have one more day with my girls where everything was just as it should be. I could be a mom and cuddle them and hold them and feed them and play with them and clean up after them. Since no one knew how my recovery from the implant surgery would go, I realized that it might be a while before I could go back to being a mom and do all the things that moms do.  Emily and I headed to the kitchen and made rolls and pumpkin bread.  Molly scooted around on the floor, happily for the most part.  It was a totally normal day in many regards.  As much as I complain about the monotony and routine of normal days, this was a normal day that I was most thankful to have.

Mom showed up in the middle of the afternoon, and Emily just about jumped into her arms. She was so excited to have Grandma stay with us for a few days. She was especially proud to tell Grandma that she'd helped to clean the upstairs bathroom so that she and Grandma could share it.  (Her favorite part was cleaning the toilet!)  The weather was beautiful, so we girls went outside to play in the backyard.  Molly was on the picnic blanket with me, and Mom and Emily played in the playscape.  I made a giant pot of mediocre soup for dinner (I had not intended for it to be mediocre, but sometimes that's how it goes in the kitchen.)  We got the girls off to bed, and as I kissed them good night, I thought, "Everything will be different tomorrow. Remember this moment."

And as luck would have it, at 8:00 that evening, I had a phone interview for a part-time editing job. (Because who wouldn't try to find a job in the midst of life-changing surgery?) William was my transcriptionist, and we were the phone for almost an hour.  One of the things that I hope comes from the implant is that talking on the phone will not be so difficult. 

I wrote down in my journal, "Today was such a normal day. How can tomorrow be the day that changes my life?"  It was a surreal feeling, one that I had the day before I was married and on the day before my babies were born. It was the same feeling I had driving home from my mother-in-law's funeral. There are all of these people out there in the world having a totally normal day, and there are some people whose lives are about to change forever.  Usually, I'm the person having a normal day, while someone else's life has changed in an instant. But on Wednesday, I would be the one watching everyone around me having a normal day and thinking, "Did anyone else notice that the world just changed a whole lot?"  But life still goes on, one way or another.


  1. wow, you are seriously the most beautiful writer. I love this concept. Looking around and wondering how people didn't realize that the world has changed! I am excited to hear more about your world changing. I just love you, RAJ!!

  2. I agree with Rachel, you really do have a way with words, and you are able to relate your story in a way that we really can feel what you are going through. Thanks for sharing that last paragraph.

  3. Rebecca that was beautiful, especially the part about how the world changes for individuals.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I can't wait to see how it continues to evolve.

    Also let's get our babies together for a playdate when you are up for it.