Sunday, November 4, 2012

A Lesson from Molly

Last night's practice ended with me throwing my word cards on the floor in frustration. We practiced with word cards I'd picked up at my most recent audiologist appointment. "Sky," "flower," and "dog" were indistinguishable to me, and I couldn't hear a difference between "cat" and "grass." In our first round, the only word that I was able to pick out on first try was "butterfly," and that was because it happened to be the only three-syllable word in the set. The card-throwing resulted from one too many attempts to hear "bird" unsuccessfully.

Many people have generously offered to help me with my listening practices, and Amy said it would be a good idea to have practice listening to different voices. But right now, I can't handle the thought of the family and friends seeing me fail so badly. It's more vulnerability than I'm willing to expose right now. Even writing about it is difficult. If it hasn't been made obvious yet, I can be a pretty proud person.

Our ten-month old daughter Molly took her first steps a week ago. She stood up by herself, as she's been doing for at least a month now, and took two little steps as she lost her balance and fell into my arms. Since then, William has coaxed a few more steps out of her on a couple of days this week, and the most I've seen is six at once. Some days she doesn't feel like walking by herself, so she doesn't. She opts to crawl or when she can, to walk around with her fingers tightly wrapped around a grown-up's. But when she does take a few independent steps, she is so pleased with herself.

Molly is satisfied with her five clumsy steps forward before she collapses into someone's arms. She's more than happy to have help with her wobbly, stiff-legged practicing. She would be happy to have someone help her walk around our kitchen island over and over, because it's valuable practice for her and strengthens her little legs. When she gets tired, she crawls away, knowing that she'll feel better next time. And she is confident that with more time and practice, she will be able to run and jump and skip, just like her big sister.

So, I will take my one easy-to-understand word, "butterfly," and be pleased with that little wobbly-eared (if you will) success. I will keep up with my awkward practicing and maybe even let someone hold my hands along the way. When I get tired, I will be satisfied with having done my homework and remember that I can hear at least a little bit better than I did last week. And I know that with much more practice and stumbling over and over, I someday will be listening and talking effortlessly.

Molly and I will be baby-stepping along the way together.


  1. You can do it!! You are inspiring me with each and every post- thank you, thank you! I am praying for you and will continue to. You got this, Girl! :-) Our babies can teach us so much- and this was just the reminder I needed.

  2. I think anyone who has tried to learn (or relearn) any skill as an adult can relate. I know I'm totally proud in this way too. This is one of the reasons I get frustrated when I try to play the piano. I know what it's like to play an instrument fairly well, and I know that *that* is not it. Anyway, I know it's not really comparable, since you're doing something that is much more consequential. :) Hang in there, I've no doubt you can do this. I'm totally rooting for you. And such a great lesson from such a cute kiddo.

    P.S. I love seeing the blanket I made you guys for your wedding in that photo! Makes me super happy. :)

    P.P.S. Thanks again for sharing the details of your story on your blog. I love hearing about you and your journey and your progress. Today in Sunday School someone (it wasn't even me) mentioned how important journal writing is because when you feel like you aren't making progress, you can look back over some baseline of time and see that you really are. I know it will get better!